If you want to pick up hot girls having charisma is crucial. A large part
of charisma is to find other people interesting enough to engage with them
in a fun but challenging way. The guys who are natural actors instinctively
understand. The rest of us have to learn for ourselves.
The following query posted on the Seduction group on Reddit by a reader
called Shit_My_Ex describes his disappointment in the personality of the
girls he meets with a cold approach. I hope it won t bother me quote
verbatim here:
I've never been whether I'm going to come across as boring or
uninteresting, but I find most of my women I immediately attracted
physically I either don not have much background in common with them or
they are seriously lacking a well-rounded personality. Humor is one of the
biggest turn on's for me, I could be talking to a 10/10 stunner /
Neurosurgeon / noble swimsuit model Laureate & # 8230;. But if his
personality isn t one that works with mime and we can all laugh together t
& # 8230 heartedly; I really just don t care. Obviously it something
personal for me. But I wanted to know how many times the rest of you speak
legitimately and women whom you speak.
I heard this kind of thing many times before men and I'm not sure I buy it.
It feels a little taken excuse. With all due respect to Mr. Shit_My_Ex, I
find it hard to believe that if a Victoria Secret model said she wanted to
sleep with him, he refused on the grounds that she had a sense of humor bit
poor. He just doesn t tally with the male biological programming, forcing
us to look for sexual opportunities with the young, physically attractive
women.
I do not however accept that the poster may not want to get into a
relationship with a & # 8216; boring or daughter without interest. Which is
fair enough: me neither here but I believe that things happen in the wrong
direction. As I have explained many times before, in sex courtship of
modern man always comes first, the second relationship.
This n t a kind of misogynist objectification of women, but simply a fact.
Sexual attraction is triggered, the guy and the girl go on a date or two
(or perhaps not so s a one night stand) and they sleep together. It is only
after that examination of whether they should take things arises.
I'm not saying this is the way things should be, but it's certainly the way
things are. Most of us know from experience that the other way & # 8212; be
a nice guy to & # 8216; & # 8217 prove; our compatibility with a particular
girl in the hope that it encourage them to have sex with us & # 8212; doesn
t work. Indeed, sexual attraction can not be negotiated. It is either this,
visceral and consuming (and this can be influenced to some extent by the
game) or it n t.
I don t mean to call Mr. Shit_My_Ex because, as I mentioned, I heard
comments like, he several times to other guys. But I think his attitude is
a form of self-defense. At some level, he doesn t want to continue to
expose the cruelties (potential) sexual market. Instead, he would prefer to
absolve themselves from the start. In saying that most girls and # 8216, in
dire need of well rounded personality & # 8217; it is actually saying he is
better than them. And if that's the case, then why should it bother
approaching?
If you feel the same way as well s & # 8212; it is entirely your
prerogative. Give women, don t approach and do something more productive
with your time instead. Bu then why would you continue to read and display
on a bulletin board of seduction? Mr. Shit_My_Ex actions reveal a truth
that his words obscure: he still wants to get fucked.
Charisma
What is at the heart of this, in my opinion, is the charisma. Here's a
working definition:
Charisma: the attraction or the irresistible charm that can inspire
devotion in others.
Fascinatingly, the dictionary goes on to say that, from the Greek, charisma
indicates power or divinely conferred talent. The etymology is as follows:
Mid 17th century (under 2): by ecclesiastical Latin Greek kharisma, Charis'
favor, thanks. "
Then he who is charismatic a & # 8216; & # 8217 support; and & # 8216; & #
8217 thanks; granted to it by God. In this context, charisma is something
like a superpower.
Last weekend I visited my father and met two of my sisters. At one point my
sisters commented on my father's charisma, marveling how he knows and is
friendly with bar and restaurant owners and staff throughout the city. And
it's true. Everywhere I go with him, either in London or Brighton where he
lives, he befriends all kinds of people.
Watching him in action, it's easy to see how. It shows a real interest in
everyone he comes in contact with. It is warm, witty and charming. People
are naturally attracted to it and they open up to him and remind him later.
For someone who is less able to do so, it may seem as if it has an & #
8216; & # 8217 divinely conferred; capacity. But in reality, he is shy and
somewhat introverted. But because he has learned to do the work & # 8212;
namely, to be actively interested in others & # 8212; he reaps the social
fruits. And the people he interacts with enormously become more interesting
because it makes them feel comfortable enough to reveal their personality.
As a man who has been in the game for many years, I love women (despite all
those pesky intergender dynamics we all have to be negotiated) and I can
honestly say that I have rarely, if ever, approached one that I considered
boring.
That does not mean that there haven t been women I've been more consistent
than others. But I have all different types of girls make shopping a PhD
holders and assistants I've found something interesting about them all.
Human beings are extremely complex. All of us, at least most eloquent
intelligent and well educated, have a very complex inner life. It is in the
gift of the approach to take & # 8212; his charisma & # 8212; the
personality of the girl before him.
Remember, it was said that the girl pick up your mirror. If you are looking
in a lot of mirrors and find what is reflected to be uninteresting then
maybe there is a bit of work to do closer to home.
For a compilation of all the best written game Troy, tips and techniques
the past four years to buy his new book How To Get Hot Girls in bed
Read more: Ten Lessons About Girls I d Teach My Teenage Self
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