In the show Californication, Hank Moody is a womanizing writer who still
has his heart with his ex-wife, Karen. Whenever they see, he always tries
to kiss her, flirt with her, and get her back. No matter how many times it
decreases, it always gives another shot. Sons in need, right?
Taken at face value, Hank Moody sounds like a pauper stalker, borderline
sociopath who will not let his ex-love. But somehow when you look at his
attempts to rekindle her romance with Karen on the show, it does not seem
to be in need of everything.
How is it possible?
A paradox in dating and relationships is the last man standing usually gets
the girl, but when he contacted her too often, be in need. Remember Mikey
swingers movie when he left six messages on the voice mail of Nikki in a 10
minute period?
So what is the difference between Mikey and Hank Moody?
playful indifference. It the kind of guy that atmosphere that are naturally
good with women. They exude a playfulness about them, and it seems that
even if things do not go their way, they do not really care.
If you ever notice someone who is naturally good with women, and naturally
good with people in general, he is able to have a good time with everyone.
It does not discriminate between young or old, man or woman.
A lot of guys are worried about approach anxiety, but if you have this
atmosphere throughout your daily life, you will know how to approach a girl
you do not know with ease. In fact, you will find that many women want to
have conversations with you, without you having to release it. So a guy
with playful indifference can start conversations and make multiple sexual
advances without creeping girl. In fact, it will often laugh and charmed by
his audacity.
The guys because with this atmosphere could afford so much is because they
accumulate social capital. To explain social capital, imagine if one of
your best friends from school tells you, "Hey, I have $ 10 for lunch, can
you help me? "Most likely, you would be more than willing to spot it.
Now imagine if you come across a homeless man on the street who ask $ 10.
Suddenly you become Ebenezer Scrooge. Why?
Well, you knew your best friend for years, but the homeless man is just a
stranger you ragged. Basically, your friend has built a lot of social
capital with you, and the homeless man did not.
You may think of social capital as a bank account for the trust. Every time
you share a laugh or an experience with someone, you make deposits in
social bank accounts of the other. And when you have enough confidence
built in the account, the other person is more likely to respond to your
requests.
So if the homeless crack some jokes that you find funny and you start to
engage in a conversation about spirit and forth that you like, you are more
likely to give up $ 10.
What does this have to do with persistence and neediness?
A guy who is fun and outgoing is skilled at building social capital quickly
because people enjoy his company. Thus, a girl is more likely to jump on
board with his plans because he flooded his social banking with confidence.
But if this guy were to suddenly lose his charisma and started running
after a girl to repeated requests to go on a date, then spend capital he
did not. When this happens, he met and needy, desperate and creepy.
So neediness comes into play when your social bank account is zero, but you
always try to get things going with a girl who wants nothing to do with you.
So the question is, how do you become the kind of guy who has an endless
supply of social capital? How do you become Hank Moody?
Detach.
When you learn to accept things as they are, and above all accept that the
worst possible outcome could happen and you're OK with that, then you will
live with a sense of lightness about you. This is why people who survive
cancer usually have the brightest outlook on life. This is because they
have accepted death, so everything they experience in life is done without
expectations.
People who take life for granted forget it can be taken in an instant.
Similarly, people who are in relationships forget that a break could be
just around the corner, and someone pursuing a girl refuses to accept life
without her in it.
However, if you come to realize and accept that life, relationships and
romances are fleeting, you will get through these events with indifference
playful & # 8212; you do not know what the outcome will be, but you're OK
with this, if you just go enjoy the ride along the way.
So if you want to be Hank Moody, then release your expectations and realize
that the only way to push forward is keeping you amused.
Read more: 11 Fundamental Guidelines for solid play
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