Fear of Gratitude Lists

I am scared of being grateful right now. I feel like as soon as i am thankful for something, the universe might (or will) take it away from me. Sometimes it feelsnlike the universe is just Waiting to slap that smile off your face. As I am writing this I realize that this is superstitious thinking. Yesterday I was grateful for Tubi for all the free content I wanted to watch, and then Tubi took it all away from me for the superbowl. GOD I hate sports. Makes me feel like a minority because everyone else loves that crap and it is forced into my lifestyle. I hate it. I know practically this is a neglible thing, but emotionally? Ugh. Fear. "Thankful for something? Oh thanks for letting me know so I can take that from you, stupid!" Fear. Superstition. Default Mode Network.