Monday, June 30, 2025

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Emotional.Weather High Variance

This seems to be day 5 of hugh variance mode? I hope not. I already couldnt make a good cup of tea. I think thisnisnwhy I stopped being playful - most of my moves dont work out. I also realized people dont actuallt like me. probably true of all of us. They like a veey fake cleaned up version of me. My sobriety anniversary is coming up and i dread ir evey year - i hate aa meetings, it is so fake, and rhe pagenatry. if i behaved like myself and told them how inresllt feel theyd retaliate. that tetailiation is actuallt spelled out in the 3rd step! it would at least be an earful of what i "should" believe and feel. Family comes over dor 4th of july. Sweet of them to want to but already I hear "if i am at your house it will need to be under 80 degrees." I will do that of xouree snd eat the cost of rhe a/c and wesr a sweatee myself but i realized - why am I the only one that prefers not to run a/c? I dont thinj i have ever heard "this is nice" unless i am being fake or bending to other peoples wants. Anything that is the real me/in line with my preferences yields an "arrgh - this experience needs to change!" i have to shower because they dont like how i smell. i have to be set the thermostat low because i am alome in my preferences, i have to not swear because it offends people, i have to be so fake or it is retaliatory backlash. i know "technically" there may be no real me. the only truths or Something is, something wants to know what is, something is trying figure it out. But it still hurts. I get why people become hermits. "Be fake! Perform to our will or we will hurt you!" - this is society. this is other people. Thx fuckers! Why are my values always wrong to others? why am i the only one with these values? are they really all the same.to each other? like today - gotta go to the store. i cant ubless i add a stupid amount of chores of showerimg and changing etc. i will run into somebody i know and perform the fske smile like i care abkut hesring abt their lives shit. Cant tell them Anything abt mine - what i think, what i am wprking on, who i met in the process ... they freak out. it isnt their reality. even if i do it has to be sugar coated in fake. what do i get in return for this sing and dance? the privelege of not being chased down by pitch forks and torches. Thx fuckers!

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

What This Angry Stand-up Comedian Did Is Genius.

Get ready to spend the rest of the day trying to pick your jaw up off the
floor.-- https://youtu.be/6WgA8vpDm0A

Thursday, June 19, 2025

Sunday, June 15, 2025

Thursday, June 12, 2025

What Happens When One Extroverted Veteran Doesn't Accept Bullying.

Get ready to spend the rest of the day trying to pick your jaw up off the
floor.-- https://youtu.be/6WgA8vpDm0A

Friday, June 6, 2025

Try Not To Be Mortified When You Listen To The Last Sentence.

Get ready to spend the rest of the day trying to pick your jaw up off the
floor.-- https://youtu.be/6WgA8vpDm0A